One More Birth!

Ok, so there have been a few changes lately!  I'll spare you all the details and just tell you that our time in Texas was cut short and we're back in Utah!  While I'm not incredibly excited about being back, it is very good for my doula certification.  Not only are there more opportunities here, but I have family very close by that can watch my girls and will make it easier to attend births!  So now I get to focus on finishing my certification.  I have mostly everything done, now it's just paperwork, a little bit of reading and ONE MORE BIRTH!  Just one!  But I have to do it before the end of May.  I have one set for the beginning of May, but I need a cushion just in case I don't get there in time or something.

So if anyone knows of someone who is due between now and May, preferably someone who desires a natural birth, pass my name along!!!  Well, they have to be in Salt Lake or Utah County, of course...

Barbie

A while ago I read an article about the impossible dimensions of a life-sized Barbie.  "If Barbie were an actual woman, she would be 5'9" tall, have a 39" bust, an 18" waist, 33" hips and a size 3 shoe.  She likely would not menstruate... she'd have to walk on all fours due to her proportions."  (http://www.cbsnews.com/8301-504763_162-20055694-10391704.html)

I read this article today which shows what kind of plastic surgery model Katie Halchishick would need to look like Barbie.

Barbie is clearly not someone we want to aspire to.

In comparison, I've been thinking a lot recently about how the medical industry "textbooks" childbirth.  For example, in a textbook labor, a woman dilates 1 cm per hour.  If the hospital staff doesn't see this reflected in their patients, they push augmentation (Pitocin, mainly) to reach their desired contraction frequency and intensity (shown by a readout from the monitors recording every move).  But, similar to Barbie, how many people follow this pattern?  Not many (and in Barbie's case, none).

Just like the differences of every woman's visible bodies, we each have our own unique way to birth babies.  We shouldn't be compared to the perfect textbook woman, because we're all different.

This quote from the article just about sums it up: just because our distorted image of how a body should be is medically attainable, that doesn’t mean it should be attained.

Let's face it, if Barbie can't menstruate, she wouldn't be having babies anyway - so why should we be comparing our progress to hers?

(I hope my analogy makes sense...this is why I didn't major in English!)

Email Suggestions

Update:  After a few days of brainstorming, I decided on my motto/business name.  It's A.I.M. for a Better Birth: Awareness. Intuition. Motherhood.  - as that is what I stress when I talk to others about childbirth.  It is the foundation of my beliefs.  I guess I can be kind of creative, after all.  :)  Let me know if you have any thoughts on my banner above (hard to read? should be smaller?  looks funny, etc).   I may be changing my blog address, but not yet. 


I've also posted an ad on craigslist and ebay classifieds, so hopefully I'll be able to get my last birth soon and finish my certification!  Yay!
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I've been pretty busy lately and neglecting my blog, but I'm working on getting my last birth for my certification. To do this, I need to figure out my business name...or at least an email that I can set up specifically for doula-ing.  So I need some suggestions.  I could use the same name as this blog: DouLorna, or something else.  I am really quite horrible at coming up with ideas and marketing, so any suggestions would be appreciated!  Thanks!

Book Review: Pushed

Pushed: The Painful Truth About Childbirth and Modern Maternity Care by Jennifer Block is a book that I've wanted to read for quite a while.  It's difficult for me to find time to do personal reading, with being a mom and how books have a tendency to consume me...so I have to be strategic in when I start a new book.

Pushed was hard to get into at first.  There are a lot of acronyms, citations, and legal and medical terms and phrases.  Throughout the whole book I found myself reading the same sentence over and over again because of all of the "fluff," despite my knowledge in childbirth, background in science and my interest in the subject.  There was just a lot of extra stuff that was hard to get past.  Once I understood her style of writing, it got a little easier.  It was so interesting to learn how modern maternity care came to be.  She touches on most procedures: episiotomies, epidurals, forceps, c-sections, and the recent shift from midwife to OB and homebirth to hospital birth.

Toward the end of the book, however, I started to get less interested.  Part of it had to do with the fact that I was trying to finish the book on the day it was due, but she just started to get into politics, which can hardly hold my interest.  Two chapters ("Criminalized" and "Rights") focused on one midwife or story.  Block explains how some midwives have to avoid the law in order to practice, and she follows a midwife on her endeavor to give women the kind of birth they want, despite not being licensed (she was, but then she didn't renew her license because of local laws, and she had to fly "under the radar").  It was interesting...just a lot of detail.

The chapter "Rights" touched a lot on abortion, a topic that was mentioned - and supported - a few times throughout the book.  I've always considered myself to be pro-life, with few exceptions of when abortion should be allowed.  I'm also an advocate of women's rights, at the very least when it comes to pregnancy and childbirth.  But what I didn't realize is that these rights are connected.  This paragraph from the book is what generated this conflict I have with my beliefs:

Even Amber and John Marlowe, who narrowly escaped a court-ordered cesarean, see the right to a physiological birth in the context of their rights as citizens of a democracy.  Their belief in this is so strong that the couple, who believe in the Bible and believe that abortion is murder, traveled to Washington, DC, in April 2003 to march in the pro-choice "March for Women's Lives."  John Marlowe told me they marched because after Amber's ordeal, they realized that if the government can restrict a woman's right to abortion, then it can force a woman to have a cesarean.  "We don't believe in abortion for any reason, period.  But we marched pro-choice because this is America.  Are we going to be a majority that gives up our choices to a doctor or a politician?"

I'm not saying this changes my opinion on abortion - that will not change, mostly because it is a religious belief.  But it does scare me that we are losing our rights to be able to birth as we choose.

Throughout this book, future scenarios kept popping into my mind: everyone forced into a c-section because OB/GYNs are too scared to attend, or under-skilled in, vaginal deliveries (much like how breech, twins, or VBACs are now); and having to go "underground" in order to have a vaginal birth, a midwife, or a birth out of the hospital.  This is where maternity care is headed, and this book shows that we're not that far off.  I always wonder what kind of birth my daughters will choose when they have children of their own.  Of course, I would like them to choose a natural birth with a midwife, preferably out of the hospital.  But in 20 years, they may not have the freedom to choose their birth experience.

I highly recommend this book to anyone interested in learning about modern maternity care - how things became standard procedures and how we arrived where we are today.  It is not, however, a beginner's guide to the natural childbirth "movement" and childbearing rights.  It definitely is an eye-opener to how twisted/perverted/corrupted/brainwashed (take your pick) our maternity care and providers are.

Suggestions?

I don't know how many people actually read my blog, or even care (honestly, that's not why I write, so I'm ok with it!), but for those who do read: do you have any suggestions on things you'd like me to write about...questions on specific childbirth topics, concerns, anything really that's related to childbirth - please feel free to leave me a comment!


Don't feel like you have to - I have a list of things I will write about eventually, but if someone has something specific then I'll put that topic at the top!

One Step Closer!

I just finished my last module for my online breastfeeding class!  Hooray!!!  Check that step off the list, now it's just getting births and doing paperwork...which is probably the hardest part, lol!  Oh well...it will happen soon.  I've just got to figure things out first.  But yay on being one step closer!

Tokophobia

I'm currently reading Pushed, by Jennifer Block, and I learned a new word today.  Tokophobia: fear of childbirth or pregnancy.  There are two types, primary and secondary.  Primary tokophobia is the fear and deep-seated dread of childbirth which pre-dates pregnancy and can start in adolescence.  Secondary tokophobia is due to a previous horrendous experience regarding traumatic birth, poor obstetric practice or medical attention, postpartum depression or other such upsetting eventings, which renders them emotionally unable to have more children.


I'm sure that there are people who actually suffer from this - I've read that about 10% of women have this phobia.  I'll admit, I've had some form of it as I got closer to having each of my babies.  But the part that makes me sad is that it could be avoided with positive birth experiences, doctors who would view birth as a natural process and not an accident or law suit waiting to happen, and hospitals who would get all those machines off of the laboring woman!


I'm really enjoying this book - it's so eye-opening!  I'll write a review when I'm done...which will soon because the book is due back to the library on Saturday, lol.

Birth Documentaries

This past week I've watched two birth documentaries on Netflix.  The first one, The Business of Being Born (BOBB), I've seen before, but it's been a few years.  The second one was Pregnant in America.  I enjoyed both of them quite a bit...maybe BOBB a little more...but I also have an obsession with childbirth that verges on unhealthy!  They are both very pro-homebirth, and some of the things they say are a little...extreme.  But the facts they present are very real and very eye-opening.  I definitely recommend them if you are someone who is still having children.  Even (or should I say "especially"?) if you plan on delivering in a hospital or having an epidural or elective c-section.  This is REAL stuff that your doctors don't tell you.  The truth is scary but it needs to be known.


One of the saddest thing about our society and the childbirth situation in our country is lack of information.  Women don't even know that they have options.  One of my favorite quotes in BOBB is "If you don't know your options...you don't have any."  Educated decisions.  That's the main thing I push.  Obviously I'm a huge advocate of natural childbirth, but if someone decides that an epidural is best for them based on the books they read or classes they took, great!  At least they made an informed decision. 


So anyway...check them out.  Ricki Lake and Abby Epstein (the makers of BOBB) are releasing More Business of Being Born in October.  It's a four part DVD series that continues to explore the modern maternity care.  You can check out descriptions of the different parts HERE. 

A Setback

Moving to Texas has really not been awesome for my certification.  When I first started the process, Jonny had a different job - one that allowed him to take off work if he needed to watch the kids while I was at a birth.  I had family close by that could help out if needed, as well.  But I don't have any of that here.  Now I have to work to find someone to watch my 3 young kids...and pay someone to do so.

I have another year and I've done almost everything for my certification.  I just need to read a book, write an essay, get 2 references, put together a resource list, and attend 2 more qualifying births. Not too much...easier said than done, though...especially being in a new place that I'm not familiar with at all.

But I have to finish this.  This is a passion of mine.  I love talking pregnancy and birth.  I love helping women achieve their goal.  I love witnessing the miracle of birth.  Now is the time for me to do this...I'm not nursing, I'm not pregnant, so now's the time.

So I'm on the hunt to find a few births to attend.  Know anyone in the Fort Worth area who would like a doula?

VBAC

VBACs (Vaginal Birth After Cesarean) are a rare occurrence these days.  Most OB/GYNs don't want to attempt them because of their risk - mainly uterine rupture.  They would rather put a woman through MAJOR surgery and a more difficult recovery instead of face the <1% chance that a uterus could rupture.  (Did you catch that? LESS THAN 1%!)  Some hospitals even have a ban against VBAC!  So when I hear of a successful VBAC, I get so excited!


My high school friend just attempted and succeeded in having a VBAC on Sunday!  She was the ideal candidate to have one (her first was transverse), but she wasn't getting the support she needed from her provider.  Her doctor wanted her to have an epidural as soon as possible and wouldn't let her go past 41 weeks.  My friend had the goal to deliver naturally.  So, at 32 weeks, she switched to a midwife group (the same ones I used).  They were very supportive of her desire for a VBAC.  I don't know all of the details of her labor, but I do know that she achieved her goal and I am SO proud of her!  So proud for her to accomplish what she set out to do, and so glad to see her switching providers so far along in her pregnancy.  So many women feel that they can't do that, and even if they don't like their doctor or agree with his/her practices, they don't choose to switch because...I don't know why.  Maybe it's a comfort zone thing.  Fact of the matter is:  it's never to late to switch providers.  Never.  


Congratulations, friend, on achieving your goal and your beautiful baby girl!

Induction

Induction is something that has really been on my mind lately.  I hear of more and more women getting induced because they’re “sick of being pregnant.”  Oh, I’m sorry…what did you think you were signing up for when you got pregnant?  Another common reason is that they’re “overdue.”  Well, there are a few things wrong with that. 

1. Humans have the most variable gestation length of all mammals.  No one can predict when your baby will be ready to arrive.

2.  Every baby, woman and pregnancy is different.  Yes, pregnancy is an average of 40 weeks, but did you know that first time pregnancies are more around 41 weeks?  Yet so many providers are anxious to get those babies out by 41 weeks!  The ACOG (American College of Obstetrics and Gynecology) actually recommends labor induction at 42 weeks, NOT 41 weeks unless medically necessary.  It’s true that the longer the pregnancy the greater the risk for postmaturity syndrome.  The placenta can become “old” and calcify, which presents health risks for the baby, amniotic fluid can decrease, and the baby can stop growing or lose weight.  But if the mom is watched closely and everything is made sure that everyone is healthy, there’s no reason to just let nature take its course.  A normal, full-term pregnancy is considered anywhere from 37-42 weeks…which, of course, is all relative, as well.  But actually, post 42 weeks is usually safe, as the ACOG has stated that 95% of babies born between 42 and 44 weeks are born safely.    

3.  Due dates are estimates.  No one can know exactly when a baby will arrive.  We do our best based off of last menstrual period, but even that is inaccurate because not every women has the textbook 28 day cycle with ovulation on day 14.  Sometimes the due date is calculated with an early ultrasound, but it all boils down to when both mom and baby are ready.  Pregnancy length is also dependent upon ethnicity, number of previous pregnancies, your age, weight, and (but not limited to) prenatal nutrition.  I’ve actually read a few places that the current way that due dates are calculated (Naegele’s Rule) is not the most accurate because most women do not have the textbook 28 day cycle with ovulation on day 14.  Mittendorf’s Rule takes into account different cycle lengths.  You can check that all out here: http://www.transitiontoparenthood.com/ttp/parented/pregnancy/duedate.htm

4.  There are a few theories on what actually triggers labor.  For a while, it was believed that the mother’s body is the one that starts labor, but now researchers believe that it’s actually the baby who is responsible for triggering labor.  One is that the baby’s lungs secrete a chemical when they’re fully developed.  This chemical causes prostaglandins to be released into the mother’s system, which trigger cervical changes and contractions.  Another theory is that, when the baby is ready to be born, its adrenal glands send out hormones to the mother’s body, signaling labor to start.  Just think – if a woman is induced before the baby’s lungs or other important body functions aren’t quite ready, that baby could have problems for their entire life.

If you are faced with the threat of induction, ask your provider what your alternatives are.  You always have the right to ask – they can’t make you do anything you don’t want to do.  You can do NSTs (Non-Stress Tests) and amniotic fluid tests to make sure that baby is healthy.  And as long as mom and baby are healthy, there is little risk of waiting until baby is ready, as Pitocin brings on problems of its own (I’ll address that in another post).

Also, don’t let your provider scare you into thinking you have a big baby.  Cephalopelvic disproportion (CPD - when the baby’s head is too big for the mother’s pelvis, which makes a vaginal birth impossible) is very rare (about 1 in 250, and even if you are diagnosed with CPD, that doesn’t mean you’ll have it again in subsequent pregnancies), yet doctors tend to diagnose many many women with this based on an inaccurate ultrasound calculation.  The only way to truly diagnose CPD is when the mother is actually in labor.  And even if they don’t threaten with CPD, you might be scared that your baby will be really big and you’ll tear or not be able to birth a “big” baby.  First off, if you listen to your body, have good coaching from your provider, let them stretch you and allow yourself to stretch, your tearing will most likely be minimal to possibly nothing!  Second, bodies are amazing things, and even if your baby IS bigger than the average newborn, you’ll be amazed at what your body can do.

My experience: I have known my exact ovulation date with every one of my (three) babies and my pregnancies were all past my “due date,” each going longer than the last!  My third baby was born at 41w5d after a LOT of encouragement.  I was confident that the baby would come when she was ready, but anxious because the 42 week mark was quickly approaching.  When she was born, she was only 7 lbs 8 oz and neither she nor the placenta had signs of “old age.”  If I would have given in to the thinking that my baby was in danger once I hit 40 or 41 weeks, think how small she could’ve been.  She just wasn’t ready.

Moral of the story:  Just let your body do what you know it can do.  Having this deadline of when the baby is “supposed” to arrive makes a woman and everyone close to her very anxious and stressed out as that date draws nearer.  When a mom can relax, it can help her go into labor – being tense just prolongs it.  Instead of having a due date, have a due window.  So say you are due February 17.  Your due window would be 3 weeks before and 2 weeks after, being Jan 27-Mar 3.  It helps to lessen the deadline part of pregnancy.

"One Born Every Minute"

Lifetime has a new show called "One Born Every Minute."  I was very excited and interested when I saw the preview, as I am with all things childbirth.  But I watched it last Tuesday and it got me VERY wound up.  The show takes place in an L&D ward in a hospital where they have installed 40 cameras to catch "all the action." Every episode they follow a few women's journeys to bring their babies into the world.  I thought it might be different than the shows that are currently on TV.  I was wrong.  Totally and completely wrong.  I was yelling at the TV practically the entire time.  I know they manipulate things to make it more dramatic, but some things you just can't fake.  Three of the four women they followed got epidurals, and the fourth one had to fight to just be left alone when her labor was taking "too long."  

The narration was ridiculous, making it sound like it was a horrible thing to NOT want an epidural and that women were finally pain-free once the anesthesiologist was finished.  No one treated birth like a normal, natural process.  It was a constant monitoring to make sure things were going normally and "textbook-ly." 

The saddest part about this show is that it is the epitome of birth in America.  If you want to know what an average birth is like in a hospital, watch this show.  If you don't want a predetermined view of birth, don't watch it.  I will say, though, that it is a good source to prepare you for what the normal processes are (so you know what you'll need in your birthplan) if you are having a hospital birth.  But please, only watch it if you feel strong in your decision to have an unmedicated birth.  Watching birth shows, especially when they show you a twisted view of it, can really affect anyone, especially a pregnant woman...and especially one who is planning a natural birth.  This is not how birth should be, and it's not how birth is if you are in control of the decisions that are made.

It's on Tuesdays at 10:00 pm ET on Lifetime...if you're interested.

On the road again

I've taken a HUGE break from blogging.  I was busy baking a baby of my own, going 12 days past my "due date," and juggling 3 kids 3 and under!  So it's a new year and I'm ready to write all the thoughts that have been floating around in my mind that I've been wanting to share.

I finished up observing the Hypnobabies class on August 10.  It was awesome, and I HIGHLY recommend a Hypnobabies course.  I thought it would be 6 weeks of just meditation and hypnosis, and you'd have to take a general childbirth class in order to get all that information.  But this included everything a couple should know: a healthy pregnancy diet, general info on the labor process, choices in childbirth, and new baby care.  It was awesome!  Hypnobabies also offers a home study course that would be great if a class isn't offered in your area.  Hypnobabies

I also read a few books.  I may have written about them before, but I will again.  :)  I've read:

Ina May's Guide to Childbirth: I love, love, LOVE this book.  Ina May talks so colloquially - you feel like she's talking right to you throughout the book.  She has great stories and her view of birth is so natural...because birth IS natural.

The Birth Partner: Another amazing book.  Most childbirth books I've read are very medical.  They talk about having a baby without medication, only it's just a paragraph or so before they move on to pages about epidurals and narcotics.  Yeah, what a great way to tell the mother that her body was made to birth babies... "you could probably do it without pain medication, but why would you when you have all these options that will make it easier?"  The Birth Partner leans more toward the natural side of birth.  It gives you the facts about epidurals, pitocin and c-sections, as well as good, real information of the childbirth process.  And my favorite part is that it's written to dads/birth partners.  It's so important to get dads involved but it's usually the moms that do the reading and the dads just kinda sit back and nod.  Then when it's time for baby, they freak out because they don't know what's going on.  This book is a great way to inform dad (and mom).

Your Best Birth: This book was written by Abby Epstein, who helped make the film The Business of Being Born with Ricki Lake.  It's does a great job in comparing options such as OB vs Midwife and places to birth.  It's very pro-midwife and home birth (so don't be put off by that if you're not into it), but it still has lots of great information.

I'm currently reading The Nursing Mother's Companion, and I really like it so far!  I'll write a post on it when I'm done.

I've attended 2 births already this year!  Both moms were due on January 9, and one had her baby on the 13th and the other on the 15th.  It was so amazing to be a part of each birth.  The first birth was in the hospital, and she did a wonderful job.  I was very nervous, as this was my first birth with someone I didn't know very well.  But I quickly got enough confidence and things worked out very well.  The second birth was a waterbirth at home and was absolutely fantastic to witness.  I can't imagine having a baby any other way now.  It was so natural and beautiful.  She listened to her body and her midwife let her do her own thing.  I had to pull out a lot of doula tricks that I've only read about, so it was a bit of a challenge, but we got through it just fine.  Now all I need to do is convince Jonny that a homebirth is a good idea! ;)

So that's about it for now.  My goal is to get apply for my certification by the end of August.  It shouldn't be a problem...I just have to do it.  I'm going to take a little break from attending births, as much as I would love to do them all the time.  My absence was a little hard on Kate (4 months), as well as myself since I couldn't leave the mom to go pump (even though I thought I would, I just couldn't bring myself to leave them).  So in a couple months when she's older and eating solids, I think I'll take on another client for my last certifying birth.  There are plenty of pregnant women around here!

Why Do I Choose Natural Childbirth?

I have to admit...when I was pregnant with Lily, it started as something I wanted to do because my sister did it.  Then, after I would tell people I was planning a natural childbirth (NCB) and they would say "good luck" and "just wait until those first contractions come - you'll be begging for your epidural," it became something I had to prove.  Comments like that just fueled my fire - being the stubborn person that I am.  I had done some research then, but just enough to know that I didn't want an epidural, I wanted the option of laboring in the tub, I wanted to move around, and a couple of other 'minor' things.  Even though Lily's birth didn't go completely as planned, I succeeded in having a NCB.  It felt good to be able to prove to everyone else that I did what they thought I couldn't do.  But there were things about how my labor went that I knew didn't have to have gone the way they did.  I wished I could have changed them, so I started to educate myself more about alternatives to routine procedures.  I began to learn why so many people choose NCB - that it was about trusting your body, and giving you and your baby the best in labor and delivery.  

A woman's body knows what to do.  I've heard stories of women being completely knocked out during labor 60+ years ago.  I always wondered how the baby was born if the woman wasn't conscious to push it out.  Well guess what?  Her body will push even if she's not trying!  A baby can be born even if a woman is in a coma!  So why do doctors and hospitals feel the need for all these interventions?  Why are women led to believe that they need help to have their baby and that they NEED all of these things that hospitals 'require.' (Which is not true, by the way.  You can always say no and hospitals actually don't have many requirements - and most of those are for women with epidurals, pitocin, etc.) 

So what started as something to prove ended up leading me to see that a NCB is safer than having interventions.  I trust my body.  It knows what to do, and if I just let it do its thing, I don't need anything to 'push' me along. 

Now, I do realize that there are circumstances in which interventions are necessary.  I'm not saying that a NCB is the ONLY way to birth.  I'm just saying that it's the safest.

Did you know that all of the routine and "just in case" procedures that OB/GYNs are made for high risk moms?  A low risk mom actually doesn't need to have most of the things that they do during pregnancy or in hospitals during labor (like an IV, rupture of membranes, episiotomy, etc).  Low risk women really should use a midwife as their caregiver.  I love this article.  It really gives you perspective on how behind the US is in our healthcare in relation to low risk obstetrics.  One quote, if you don't want to read the whole thing:  "Today, only 7 percent of births in the United States are attended by midwives. This statistic is striking, considering that midwives attend approximately 70 percent of births in Western Europe."  And when you look at the intervention rate, among other things, of Western Europe compared to the US...it's shocking, especially when you consider how 'advanced' the US is in its technology.

Anyway, I kinda went off on a tangent there.  It's really hard for me to stay on one subject, since everything is so connected!  But I hope that this gives you a better idea why I choose to birth naturally!

DONA Workshop: Day 3

I'm really late with this post...life just gets busy!  The last day of my workshop was great, just as the other days!  We really focused on interventions and how doulas can help in epidural and cesarean births.  One thing I learned that I found really interesting is the "rest and descend" technique used when the mom has an epidural.  When the woman is fully dilated, the nurses/doctors say "ok!  Time to start pushing!"  And so much energy is wasted because the baby is still high up and the mom can't push as effectively since she has little to no feeling.  So the rest and descend technique allows the contractions to move the baby down until the head is visible in between contractions (on the perineum).  Since the mom usually doesn't feel the urge to push, she can just let the contractions do the work for her.

I had an amazing three days at the workshop with an amazing group of women.  It was so great to be with people who share the same passion as I do about birth.  I really wish I could start attending births right now...but it's just not going to work with me being so far along in my pregnancy...then having a nursing baby!  The earliest I'll start is January for my cousin's birth.  But that's not too far off, and it will give me time to read and study some more.

DONA Workshop: Day 2

I am so exhausted, so this will be a short post.  At today's class, we spent most of the day doing "hands on" stuff.  We learned massage techniques and pressure points, as well as practiced different positions for labor.  Even though I knew most of the positions, it was so great to be able to practice them and to actually learn how to do them.  

By doing all of the hands on stuff today, my confidence in my ability to be a good doula definitely went up.  I learned that it doesn't always matter if you're doing something "wrong."  Sometimes the mother in labor just wants something.  She doesn't know or care that I'm not a perfect massage therapist.  What she needs is someone to help her relax, just by touch.  Or to help her slow her breathing down.  Or someone to suggest changing positions.  There's still a lot to remember, but it feels more manageable. 

Tomorrow is the last day of class.  I've had a great time being with 10 other women who pretty much have the same feelings about labor as I do.  It's sad that tomorrow's the last day!  Well hopefully I'll be able to find my own circle of women who share the same beliefs - whether that be friends or other doulas.  It's nice to have people who you can talk openly to about these kinds of things.

DONA Workshop: Day 1

Today was day one of three of my DONA workshop.  A lot of the information was basically just a review of a lot of the things I've researched and read in the past 2 years, but I still enjoy learning and talking about it.  If I had to sum up the topics of the day into one sentence, it would be:

Birth is safe, interference is risky.

Childbirth is safe. Women have been having babies [relatively] safely for thousands of years.  Why is it that NOW it's treated as an illness and a lawsuit?  (More about that in a later post.) 

I have a passion for birth...if I didn't, I wouldn't want to be a doula.  But after today, I'm just worried that I won't have what it takes to be a good doula.  There is so much information to learn...so many things to remember during labor.  And on top of that, every situation and every mom is different.  THEN, you have to learn to say things positively and not overstep your boundaries...then there's the issues you have with the hospital staff and care providers who don't like you there because you don't "let" them do things their way (even though "their" way is not what the mom wants or may not be the best solution).  There's just so much stuff to remember...


I hope that the worry and the anxiety go away after I have some experience.  I know things will naturally get easier when I get some practice, it's just very intimidating to think about!


Well, that's it for today.  Tomorrow we're doing some hands-on stuff, which I hope will ease my fears a little bit.  Stay tuned!

Why I Think Childbirth Education is Important

I'm a little annoyed right now, so I'm going to try my best to keep my thoughts together.  I've never been good with words, so we'll see how this goes...it probably won't make any sense!

In my late-teenage years, when marriage and babies were becoming more reality and less fantasy, I always told myself I probably wouldn't get an epidural.  Mainly because my mom didn't, and my sister had only had one with her oldest.  It wasn't based off of statistics or research at all.  I guess, subconsciously, I knew I didn't want to lose that control of my body.  When I got pregnant with Lily, there was no question in my mind that I wouldn't have a natural childbirth.  That's how women had been having babies for thousands of years, why should modern technology change that?  Giving birth was a gift from God, it's what my body was made to do.  My body knows what to do, why start out not trusting myself?

So over the years I became more educated.  Now, choosing an unmedicated birth isn't about what other people did, it's because I know the facts.  I know that interventions lead to more interventions.  I know that epidurals do, in fact, affect the baby - no matter what they say.  Anything you put in your body affects the baby.  I know that my body can have a baby without anyone's help, and I know how listen to it and how to control it.

But, unfortunately, I'm in the minority of women that know this.  It seems as though women are forced into this fear of childbirth because of ignorance.  Here's what I mean:  In the US (I specify US because I don't have any experience with other countries), private matters (in this case, childbirth) are very "hush-hush."  We don't talk about it much, for fear of offending someone, I guess.  150 years ago, women gave birth solely at home, with usually only women around.  I would imagine that little kids knew more about a women having a baby than the average 20 year old today.  People had close relationships with their neighbors, in many different ways.  They were their friends...their family.  Growing up, a girl would probably experience childbirth multiple times.  Whether or not she was physically present for the birth, she would still have a completely different outlook of it than someone in today's culture.  She would have grown up understanding that this is a natural process, she would know what to expect during childbirth.  Today, we have practically no exposure to it to know what to expect.  Why do you think we're afraid of it?!  Of course we're going to be afraid of something we know almost nothing about!  So, because of this fear, women automatically choose pain medication (most commonly epidurals) because they hear horror stories from other women who have gone before them about how painful childbirth was...because they weren't prepared, or their epidural didn't work and they didn't know what to do now that they have to 'deal' with contractions...because they were planning on "no pain whatsoever."  So now, suddenly, birth is so painful that you can't handle it, and women don't even trust their bodies to something that has been done naturally for thousands of years.

I will say this again and again...I probably sound like a broken record: Every woman should educate herself.  Know the options.  Know the risks and benefits of procedures BEFORE you go into labor, because when you're 6cm dilated and someone comes to you saying that your water should be broken, I guarantee that you're not going to fully comprehend the implications of that decision.  And even if you do, you're probably not going to be able to make a decision on your own (which is why you need someone there...like a doula!).  

About 2 years ago, we had dinner at my in-laws' house with my father-in-law's TA and his wife, who was about halfway through her pregnancy.  My sister-in-law asked this woman if she was going to take a childbirth class (mind you, this is her first baby).  Her response?  "Why?  I'm going to get an epidural."  Um.  Yeah...cause childbirth classes are only about pain management and you shouldn't waste your time if you're planning on getting an epidural.  I'll admit that childbirth education classes offered by hospitals aren't top on my list of recommended classes, but they're a whole lot better than not taking one!  But...that's a whole different story.

This handout is published by Childbirth Connection.  It's called The Rights of Childbearing Women and should be read by every woman who is having a baby.  It's a free download, you just have to click on the PDF link.  The Rights of Childbearing Women

DONA Packet

I ordered my certification packet last Monday and I got it this week!  It has all of the requirements in detail in it, as well as the forms I'll need to fill out and have others fill out.

It 'expires' in 2 years, so I'm hoping I can get everything done by then!  So excited to get moving!

I also found another Hypnobabies class to take, except this one goes from July 6 - August 10.  Getting pretty close to my due date, so I hope that this baby doesn't come too early!  But yay that I was able to find out that works out!

Some Great Quotes

I've been doing some normal surfing on my side of the internet, and I found some pretty great quotes/slogans.  I just had to share!  (All images are taken from Cafe Press...which is why there's a Cafe Press watermark on all of them!)

My favorite:

I'd better stop there!  I could go on for a long time!