I'm a little annoyed right now, so I'm going to try my best to keep my thoughts together. I've never been good with words, so we'll see how this goes...it probably won't make any sense!
In my late-teenage years, when marriage and babies were becoming more reality and less fantasy, I always told myself I probably wouldn't get an epidural. Mainly because my mom didn't, and my sister had only had one with her oldest. It wasn't based off of statistics or research at all. I guess, subconsciously, I knew I didn't want to lose that control of my body. When I got pregnant with Lily, there was no question in my mind that I wouldn't have a natural childbirth. That's how women had been having babies for thousands of years, why should modern technology change that? Giving birth was a gift from God, it's what my body was made to do. My body knows what to do, why start out not trusting myself?
So over the years I became more educated. Now, choosing an unmedicated birth isn't about what other people did, it's because I know the facts. I know that interventions lead to more interventions. I know that epidurals do, in fact, affect the baby - no matter what they say. Anything you put in your body affects the baby. I know that my body can have a baby without anyone's help, and I know how listen to it and how to control it.
But, unfortunately, I'm in the minority of women that know this. It seems as though women are forced into this fear of childbirth because of ignorance. Here's what I mean: In the US (I specify US because I don't have any experience with other countries), private matters (in this case, childbirth) are very "hush-hush." We don't talk about it much, for fear of offending someone, I guess. 150 years ago, women gave birth solely at home, with usually only women around. I would imagine that little kids knew more about a women having a baby than the average 20 year old today. People had close relationships with their neighbors, in many different ways. They were their friends...their family. Growing up, a girl would probably experience childbirth multiple times. Whether or not she was physically present for the birth, she would still have a completely different outlook of it than someone in today's culture. She would have grown up understanding that this is a natural process, she would know what to expect during childbirth. Today, we have practically no exposure to it to know what to expect. Why do you think we're afraid of it?! Of course we're going to be afraid of something we know almost nothing about! So, because of this fear, women automatically choose pain medication (most commonly epidurals) because they hear horror stories from other women who have gone before them about how painful childbirth was...because they weren't prepared, or their epidural didn't work and they didn't know what to do now that they have to 'deal' with contractions...because they were planning on "no pain whatsoever." So now, suddenly, birth is so painful that you can't handle it, and women don't even trust their bodies to something that has been done naturally for thousands of years.
I will say this again and again...I probably sound like a broken record: Every woman should educate herself. Know the options. Know the risks and benefits of procedures BEFORE you go into labor, because when you're 6cm dilated and someone comes to you saying that your water should be broken, I guarantee that you're not going to fully comprehend the implications of that decision. And even if you do, you're probably not going to be able to make a decision on your own (which is why you need someone there...like a doula!).
About 2 years ago, we had dinner at my in-laws' house with my father-in-law's TA and his wife, who was about halfway through her pregnancy. My sister-in-law asked this woman if she was going to take a childbirth class (mind you, this is her first baby). Her response? "Why? I'm going to get an epidural." Um. Yeah...cause childbirth classes are only about pain management and you shouldn't waste your time if you're planning on getting an epidural. I'll admit that childbirth education classes offered by hospitals aren't top on my list of recommended classes, but they're a whole lot better than not taking one! But...that's a whole different story.
This handout is published by Childbirth Connection. It's called The Rights of Childbearing Women and should be read by every woman who is having a baby. It's a free download, you just have to click on the PDF link. The Rights of Childbearing Women
